Not What You Thought #3

Last time we left the trail of despair with the thought that running your creative CG/model-making/sculpting career would be a lot easier if clients weren't involved, but there may come occasions when you'd prefer it if people weren't involved, period.

You started out by doing the rounds with a folio and a head full of idealism. After months of “call back in 1 month/3 months/6 months/when Hell freezes over,” you started getting interviews and blissfully ignoring tiny cracks that had already started to show.

The way they incessantly talked over you at a particular interview seemed odd - as if they just wanted to hear the sound of their own voices, with you cast in the role of speechless admirer. What about the suggestions to your folio that they made? That got you bouncing back to them like an eager dog returning a stick, and with some new work that would surely get you the job, right? But no, it's not quite right - they'll bear you in mind though!'Time to play fetch again. It all seems a little vague, and not how professionals are supposed to behave at all.

Then there's the interview where they quizzed you on certain techniques and names/details, or on specific software/equipment/procedures. Are they taking notes? It's almost as if they don't actually know the answers themselves and are treating this as a free consultation? No, never! Like they said; if the budget's there, they'll definitely be giving you a call, definitely. Just answer the questions.

But at any rate, someone, somewhere finally 'caved' and gave you that first job. You were off. The thing is though: you wanted to be a sculptor, but now you're self-employed as stockkeeper, advertising exec, PR, accountant, company director, travel and logistics operative, receptionist, Personal Assistant to yourself, sales rep, workshop manager, et al. You make coffee and sweep the floor, fill in tax returns and phone around for jobs. They still tell you to call back in “1 month, 3 months, 6 months” and  “when Hell freezes over”. They say that they can't see you now because they are too busy but “call back in two months”. Two months later you phone and they say, “you should have called two months ago, we had loads of work, we were really busy”.

You learn that when it comes to specific work; the longer the non-committal chatter continues, the less likely the work is to ultimately appear. It was just hot air and wishful thinking. This seems to be a 'rule'. You ask someone with more experience: “So how many jobs actually 'happen' out of the ones that you chase?”. They reply: “about 1 in 14”. That's filtering all the cold calls down to something with substance and filtering down all the substance into actual job-talk, meetings, quotes and follow-ups. That's 1 in every 14 of those. Perhaps you'll get some sculpting done at some point.

You're chewing into your savings from that last good job, with income tax to pay on the full amount, regardless, next year. You realise that if you work half the time, then you'll need to charge twice as much, but if you double your fees, you may only get half the work (or less). Before you hit the bottom, another job rolls in and the roller-coaster ride is on the up, again. You learn that this will become a repeating pattern. People in the know mention 'feast and famine' in the same sentence as 'self-employment'.

The man from the previous article arrives. He's the one from the production company and he's asking you to “just make it a bit bigger”. He really likes it though. Clients come and go, some stay. You even get recommendations, which feel like some kind of validation. You also get companies who hire you as a 'specialist', take apart what you produce, learn the 'trick', then cancel your appointment and do it themselves. They may (or may not) be related to the free-consultation-job-interviewers mentioned earlier.

“Oh, we've decided to do it in-house after all” they say. When you visit their office, the in-house mini-you(s) are doing what you did - right in front of your face! But if they need any external help again, then they'll get right back to you, definitely, definitely.

It's hard to say exactly when your mindset changed and when the fantasy career turned into a 'job'. You look at the wide-eyed wannabes and fan-boys on the other side of the fence and see something of yourself in a previous life.

Pinballing between the factionalised, grotesque egos of the creative arts makes you feel like taking a shower, as if you could just wash off whatever it is that makes these individuals the way they are. At times, it feels like you’re a bit-player in a camped-up soap opera about office politics in a small-town supermarket staff-room - such is the flouncing and posturing on display.

Tagged with: interviews, office politics, jobs